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Definitely, there is not a bad death!

nov_22_3172_tomb_flowersHow often have we heard the message that says: “In life, brother…! In life, brother…”

The truth is that this message contains a lot of wisdom in our daily existence. The issue is how

we express affection, the affection and love which we have for our family members, our friends,

and all people who mean so much to us. The situation becomes complex because we intuitively

know that others are aware of how much we appreciate them. But the question arises here

whether we have made them know we appreciate them. How often have we demonstrated our

appreciation for people who are important for us? How many times have we said to them how

important they are to us?

The fact is that in our daily life we do the opposite. Many times our communication with

our loved ones is very low, perhaps because we think they know they are important to us. Telling

our loved ones that we love them seems inappropriate. Maybe they know and feel it. Many times

we do not say anything because we think we are busy, we are too young, and someday we will

do it. But the truth is that we have not bought our life. We do not know when we are going to

depart from this physical existence. The tragedy comes when we suffer the loss of a loved one.

From my personal experience I say that we just appreciate things and persons when

we have lost them. That was exactly the experience that I had when I did my Clinical Pastoral

Education (CPE) at the hospital, in San Antonio, Texas. There I accompanied many families who

had lost one of their loved ones. Few families calmly accepted their situation, but most families

were despaired and cried inconsolably. It was a difficult experience providing support in time of

sorrow. At that time, I observed families who maintained a close relationship, and accepted the

loss of a loved one. On the contrary, those who had conflict in their family relationships were

reluctant to accept the loss of their family member. The reality is that the lesson is very clear;

many times we mourn the death of a loved one because the physical separation is difficult, but

sometimes the reality can be another one. We cry because we feel resentment that we did not tell that

family member or friend how important he or she was for us. Or the worst, we cry because we did not

give them the good which we could have provided them with, and we feel resentment.

So my invitation is that you tell your loved ones today that you love them. For example,

tell your mother, father, brother, sister, nephew, niece, cousin, friends, how much they mean

to you in life. Today, fill with joy the hearts of the people you love. Don’t fill with flowers the

graves of the cemeteries, where your loved ones are not able to understand you. In life, brother,

give that flower or call that person who means very much to you.

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