Well, this is my 4th month in the seminary, and I have to say I have loved it a lot. I have been getting comments about being the only one here in the seminary. To be truthful, I have not expirienced that loneliness… I guess because I am the only one and that means more things to do for me. But there was a week were I did experience that loneliness and it was because I injured my knee. I teared a ligament (the ACL) and the middle meniscus as well. I did feel a little lonely, but then it clicked: “What am I doing? I could be reading or watching videos of God or songs or even talks from Priests in Youtube.” I have also started to like a plant I am thinking of buying, a bonsai. The reason is that I was watching the Karate Kid and I wondered if I could do one. The first thing that came to my mind was that it would probably last one week and die on me. I have also experienced more stress because finals are around the corner, but like the pictures we see that say “Keep calm”, that is exactly what I will do. With some studying, saying one of the prayers which I was given by one of my brothers here in the seminary, tutoring, and continuing to annoy the teacher with explanations of the chapters, I am pretty sure I will succeed. I sure do not want doubts on my head, so I keep on listening to motivational speeches which give me a pump for the whole day. Another thing that I have been told is that I am too young to go into the seminary, that I am too young to enter, that I still have a life ahead of me, and things like that. Well, the only comment I say back is, “Yes, I am young, and yes, I do have a whole life ahead of me, a life full of energy to give to my Lord since this young age.”
I have also had this experience lately which I would like to share, and it is of doubts of becoming a priest, that I won’t be a great priest, and really negative thoughts. To tell you the truth, I have prayed and I feel like the devil’s henchmen are on to me to make me give up. I guess they know what I can do. Well, that even motivates me even more not to give up and I have song for them which I would like to share with all of you and that is “ya dejame en paz”. It is from the movie Spirit, which is my favorite movie ever, and has even my favorite animal in it. Also, I have been meditating about my past, and through these four months the emotions I have gone through, and I also have a song for that which makes me cry and gives me chills and leaves me with a feeling to hug God and just drown in his love and grace. The song is the piano cover of “Tu Dios tienes un plan”, by Juan Carrasco.